Fandom: Star Wars
Title: Two Halves of a Whole
Warnings: Spoilers for Vision of the Future, if you haven't read it.
Notes: Cover, again, by jaded56 . ♥ Songs follow the events of Vision of the Future, and alternate perspectives between Luke and Mara. Excerpts from the book are included in the post.
His emotions remained unruffled. "Actually, that's exactly what it is," he said. "Not a secret, really, but the fact that you're not a Jedi."
"What, because I haven't been through your academy?" Mara scoffed.
"Not at all," Luke said. "There are ways to become a Jedi without going through an academy." He hesitated, just noticeably. "But as long as we're on the subject, why didn't you come back?"
She studied his face, wondering if this was a subject she really wanted to get into right now. "I had better things to do," she said instead.
"I see," Luke said; and this time she did sense a twitch in his emotions. "Such as flying all over the New Republic with Lando, for instance?"
"Well, well," Mara said, arching her eyebrows slightly. "Do I detect a note of jealously?"
all at once - the fray
Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it, maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come
Maybe you want her
Maybe you need her
Maybe you had her
Maybe you lost her to another
"But I didn't really go over to the dark side," Luke protested, trying to remember those dark days. "I mean, I don't think I did."
Mara shook her head. "Debatable; but it almost doesn't matter. One way or the other, you still willingly dabbled in it. And from that point on, it colored everything you did."
One of Master Yoda's pronouncements floated up from his memory. If once you start down the dark path, his old teacher had warned, forever will it dominate your destiny. "It did, too, didn't it?" he murmured, as all the errors and mistakes and, yes, the arrogance of the past nine years rose accusingly before his eyes. "What was I thinking?"
"You weren't thinking. You were reacting, trying to save everyone and do everything. And in the process you came within a split blaster bolt of destroying yourself."
don't look back - she & him
And you can work to save your love
You can bear it from the earth below
You can work but you can't let go
Oh oh, but you have to know
Don't look back, all you'll ever get
Is the dust from the steps before
I don't have to see you every day
But I just want to know you're there
But he wouldn't love her. He couldn't take that risk. Every time in the past that he had allowed himself the luxury of caring that deeply about a woman something terrible had happened to her. Gaeriel had been killed. Callista had lost her Jedi abilities and finally left him. The list of tragedies sometimes seemed endless.
Still, if Mara's theory was right, all of those disasters had happened while he was still under the lingering effects of his brush with the dark side. Would things be different now? Could they be different?
But for now what she needed most was to be healed. And that would take no sacrifice, merely time and attention. "Good night," he said again, knowing she couldn't hear him. On impulse, he leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips.
unintended - muse
You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before
So focused was her mind, so locked into the terrible struggle for survival, that there was nothing else in the universe that seemed able to penetrate into her consciousness. Nothing but the blasters and her lightsaber.
Standing back to back, stretched out so deeply together to the Force, it was if their minds had literally melded to become a single entity. Within the depth of that mental rapport, she suddenly and totally knew Luke Skywalker. Knew everything about him.
And she knew that even as he lay open before her eyes, so also her heart and spirit were open before his.
Yet it wasn't frightening or humiliating. It was instead something completely exhilarating. Never before had she experienced such a depth and closeness to another person. Never had she known such a relationship could even exist.
And never before had she realized how badly she wanted such a relationship.
there for you - flyleaf
I want to be there for you
Someone you can come to
It runs deeper than my bones
I want to be there for you
'Cause I hear the whispered words
In your masterpiece beautiful
You speak the unspeakable through
I love you too
He grimaced. "You aren't going to make this easy for me, are you?" he growled.
"Oh, come now," she said, mock accusingly. "When have I ever made anything easy for you?"
"Not very often," he conceded. Visibly bracing himself, he reached over and took her hands again. "Mara... will you marry me?"
"You mean if we get out of here alive?"
Luke shook his head. "I mean regardless."
Under other circumstances, she knew, she would probably have considered herself honor-bound to make him sweat, just a little. But with the water still rising below them, such games seemed rather pointless. Besides, there was no reason for old defensive patterns to come into play. Not now. Not with him. "Yes," she said. "I will."
sink or swim - tyrone wells
Kamikaze airplanes in the sky
Are we going down or will we fly
This could be a shipwreck on the shore
Or we could sail away forevermore
This time it's sink or swim, sink or swim
Take a deep breath
No more time left
This is what
I thought I wanted
Why am I afraid
She shook her head. "I mean, look, I cried when the Jade's Fire crashed. A ship - a thing; and yet I cried over it. What does that say about my priorities?"
"It wasn't just a thing, though," Luke murmured. "It was your freedom."
"Sure," Mara said. "But that's part of the point. It represented freedom, but it was freedom to escape from other people if I decided I wanted out."
She looked out at the stars. "In many ways, I'm still all closed up emotionally. You, on the other hand, have such an emotional openness it sometimes drives me crazy. That's what I need to learn, and you're the one I want to learn it from."
wide awake - lacuna coil
The struggle within, now I understand
Freedom begins when you get out of the cage you built
It looks like I'm crazy but I'm not the only one
To believe in myself, believe in myself
I won't be coming undone
'Cause I feel like
I'm wide awake
I open my eyes and the sky is so blue
All of a sudden I know
That I treasure my life
I find myself wide awake
"But that's the future," Luke murmured, his breath warm on the side of her face. "This is the present."
Mara pulled a little away from him. "And as head of the Jedi academy and brother of High Councilor Organa Solo you should at least put in an appearance at the ceremony?" she suggested.
He gave her a wry look. "Yes, that's just about what I was going to say," he acknowledged. "I can see this is going to take some getting used to."
"There's still time for you to back out," she pointed out.
He kissed her warmly. "Not a chance," he said. "I'll see you later."
stay with you - goo goo dolls
Fooled by my own desires
I twist my fate
Just to feel you
But you, turn me toward the light
And you're one with me
Will you run with me
I'll stay with you
The walls will fall before we do
Take my hand now
We'll run forever
I can feel the storm inside you
I'll stay with you
Setting down his mug, he headed for the door. "Hang on a minute," Mara said, stepping away from the viewport and her tantalizingly brief vision of the future. As Luke had said, this was the present. The future would take care of itself. "I'll come with you."
die alone - ingrid michaelson
I'm just a stranger, even to myself
A re-arranger of the proverbial bookshelf
Don't be a fool girl, tell him you love him
Don't be a fool girl, you're not above him
I never thought I could love anyone but myself
Now I know I can't love anyone but you
You make me think that maybe I won't die alone
Maybe I won't die alone
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